Dress code. Does the court have one? I was about to find out.
I skipped the Ann Taylor button-up today and went with a casual Uniqlo fit—jeans, track jacket, metallic sneakers.
Lucky for me, the judge showed up just as relaxed, walking into the courthouse in jeans and Nikes. Two peas in a judicial pod I’ll be living in for the next eight weeks. If we’re going to be here that long, we might as well be comfortable, right?
So far, anything goes at the Diddy trial. It’s more laid-back than I expected.
Today felt like a rerun of Day One: mumbling jurors answering awkward first-date questions, attorneys getting swatted down by a judge who, I realized, bears a striking resemblance—in tone and expression—to Ali Alexander.
In my last update, I said the overflow room TV was broken. Today I learned it was turned off intentionally to protect the identities of the remaining 45 potential jurors. Once the final 12 are selected, the feed will go live, and the press and public sitting in the overflow room will finally get to watch the trial unfold.
For now, we crowd around a speaker.
I arrived in the afternoon and sat with journalists from Daily Mail and USA Today. We helped each other interpret the garbled audio as jurors were called up one by one to answer a long list of questions from the judge. Some were hard to understand—especially the man who’s now known in our room as “sleep apnea guy,” after telling the judge he was exhausted from staying up all night binge-watching Star Wars.
I cracked jokes with the other reporters until a mainstream journo shushed me. She was right. I shouldn’t have been laughing—but some of these juror answers were hilarious. And to be fair, the judge has been cracking jokes the entire trial. Once victims start taking the stand, I’m sure the tone will change. At the moment, it’s completely unserious.
The judge called potential jurors to the stand one by one to answer a Q&A. The questions sounded like something off a dating app:
How old are you?
Are you single?
What are your hobbies?
Where do you get your news?
Turns out, most jurors get their news from CNN.
Not one person today mentioned Fox News, NewsNation, Newsmax—nothing right-leaning.
Which, if you’re on Diddy’s defense team, probably feels like a win. Fox viewers are more likely to believe he’s part of a Hollywood satanic cabal. CNN viewers are more likely to think that kind of talk belongs on Reddit. Right-wing media has leaned into entertainment industry conspiracies in recent years, while left-leaning outlets still roll their eyes. Fox sees demonic symbolism in a Met Gala brooch; CNN calls it couture.
Whatever the case, the answers were weirdly revealing. I recorded as many as I could. A snapshot of American culture, as told by the very people who may soon decide whether Diddy walks free.
Jurors Q&A Answers: In Order of Appearance:
Anon Juror 1:
Age: 34
Location: Bronx
Occupation: Area Manager
Relationship Status: Single
Kids: None
Education: Bachelor’s Degree in Business and Finance
Preferred News Sources: CNN, GQ, Forbes, Bloomberg, Other “Regular” News Channels
Preferred TV Shows: N/A (Didn’t write fast enough)
Music Preference: N/A (Didn’t make out what she said)
Hobbies: N/A (Didn’t make out what she said)
Anon Juror 2,
Age: 31
Location: Westchester
Occupation: Motion Designer
Relationship Status: Has Girlfriend
Education: Bachelor’s in Mass Communications
Kids: None
Preferred News Sources: CNN, ESPN
Music Preference: R&B, Hip-Hop, Jazz
Hobbies: Photography, Cooking, Alpha Pi Alpha Pi Fraternity
Anon Juror 3
Age: 35
Location: Manhattan
Occupation: Unemployed, Used to do window cleaning way back when
Relationship Status: Single
Education: N/A
Kids: None
Preferred News Sources: Doesn’t read newspapers or magazines
Music Preference: Metal, Hip-Hop, R&B
TV Shows: Chicago P.D.
Hobbies: Video games and food
No wonder he is unemployed…too many video games. He mentioned video games twice during his Q&A. lol
Anon Juror 4
Age: N/A
Location: N/A
Occupation: Teacher, NYC Department of Education
Relationship Status: Married
Education: Professional Diploma
Kids: Has children all who have good jobs
Preferred News Sources: CNN, ABC7, Home & Garden, Culinary Cuisine
TV Shows: Netflix and Amazon Prime
Music Preference: Contemporary Christian, R&B, 80s and 90s
Hobbies: Pickle ball, Cooking and Decorating
Anon Juror 5
Age: 71
Location: New York County
Occupation: Archivist, Alvin Ailey Dance Foundation
Relationship Status: Has Spouse
Education: N/A
Preferred News Sources: New York Times, The New Yorker, The Wall Street Journal, Wired
TV Shows: Netflix, Historical Docs
Music Preference: Classical
Hobbies: Art, Architecture and design
Someone in my comments today said only older people will pass the Diddy jury test which is funny because this was the first juror I thought seemed the most fit.
Anon Juror 6
Age: 32
Location: Westchester
Occupation: Data Analytics, Julliard
Relationship Status: Single
Kids: None
Education: Bachelor’s in Literature
Preferred News Sources: CNN, BBC, The New York Times, NY Post
TV Shows: Reality shows on Bravo
Music Preference: Broadway and 40s and 50s Country
Hobbies: Cooking, Traveling and Video Games
Anon Juror 7
Age: 37
Location: NY County
Occupation: Counterterrorism Officer, United Nations
Relationship Status: Girlfriend
Kids: None
Education: Masters Degree in International Relations
Preferred News Sources: CNN, The New York Times, BBC
TV Shows: N/A
Music Preference: Pop, Rock, Classical
Hobbies: Cooking, Hiking, Reading
The judge grilled this juror the most because of his position working as a counterterrorism officer at the UN. He asked him what exactly he did there and he said the he scheduled conferences. The judge asked him if he worked with the FBI and Interpol.
He said no.
I said, “He sounds like an opp. Get him out of here!”
Anon Juror 8 AKA “Sleep Apnea Guy”
He was 64 and mumbled. I couldn’t make out a word he said except for “single,” “Al Jazeera” and “Star Wars.”
Anon Juror 9
Age: 24
Location: Bronx
Occupation: Field Operator, Coffee Services, LLC
Relationship Status: Married
Kids: None
Education: Associates Degree
Preferred News Sources: Online News only, mostly from social media
TV Shows: Hulu and Netflix
Music Preference: Hip-Hop, Rap, R&B, Soul, Pop
Hobbies: Screenwriting, Cooking, Design
Anon Juror 10
Age: 51
Location: N/A
Occupation: Nurse Practitioner
Relationship Status: Married
Kids: None
Education: Doctorate in Nursing
Preferred News Sources: ABC World News, BBC, Publications about Nursing
TV Shows: Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune
Music Preference: Pop, R&B, Jazz, Classical
Hobbies: Concerts, Watches BTS Concerts the most
Anon Juror 11
Age: 38
Location: Hudson County
Occupation: Attorney/Artist
Relationship Status: Married
Kids: None
Education: Bachelor’s in Philosophy
Preferred News Sources: Looks for new on the internet, finds news she thinks are interesting then researches more and “vets” mainstream publications
TV Shows: Reruns of 90s shows
Music Preference: Lowfi, Miles Davis, Rock
Hobbies: Cooking and Hiking
Besides cooking, this juror sounded the most like me. The way she finds her news is exactly how I find mine. Not to mention, her hyphenated career and love for 90s shows. A true Millennial basking in nostalgia.
I can’t believe none of the jurors said they got their news from “Emilie Knows Everything’s Substack!”
If I was called to the stand, here would be my answers:
Age: “Well, I’m a Year of the Dragon, sooooo…”
Location: “Hollywood”
Occupation: “Katy Perry Impersonator, Kanyesposts Admin & Freelance Writer”
Relationship Status: “In a relationship”
Preferred News Sources: Social Media
Preferred TV Shows: White Lotus (Pre-Season 3 that relied on Incest for clicks), Full House Reruns, You, Queen’s Gambit, Killing Eve and just about any thriller about government assassins
Hobbies: Documenting Kanye West, Collecting Wigs, Wearing Neon Masks, Figuring out Celebrity Conspiracy Theories, Exposing the Illuminati, Wasting Time in Group Chats, Joining Fleeting Internet Cults, Reading Negative Reddit Comments, Thrifting Clothes at Goodwill and Searching for Fancy Hand-Blown Tumblrs at Estate Sales by Water Tastes Better in an Expensive Cup
The judge would say, “Okay lady, we get it, you think you’re interesting. Now bye bye. You’re excused.”
FILL OUT THE COURT ROOM Q&A.
Now it’s your turn. Judge Emilie calls you to the stand to please answer the following questions. I’d like to survey everyone here to see if we have overlapping answers. Don’t worry. In this survey, there is no wrong answer. No answer will get you excused.
Q&A:
Location:
Occupation:
Living Situation:
Relationship Status:
Preferred News Sources:
Preferred TV Shows:
Music Preferences:
Hobbies:
Leave Your Answers in the Comments Below:
The judge dismissed us early today at 1:39 PM. Jury selection will resume Friday morning, and if all goes as planned, the final jurors will be seated by end of day—just in time for opening statements Monday morning.
The judge warned jurors to stay silent about the case and gave them advice before leaving. Typical court protocol with a modern twist where group chats were discouraged and snitching was encouraged.
Coming up next: Protest Coverage in Manhattan: An Interview with Curtis Sliwa, who’s running again for Mayor of New York and why he’s receiving so much support from Chinese Americans
This was great! I cant wait to see Monday! I think it will be way more insane at the courthouse than the days you have had so far. Rest up!
Location: southwest louisiana
Occupation: sahm
Living Situation: here with a bunch of farm animals that look like children and my mom
Relationship Status: married
Partner’s Occupation: HE operator
Preferred News Sources: emilies substack, redacted, chewbacca, candace owens
Preferred TV Shows: what we do in the shadows, the goldbergs, i love lucy
Hobbies: cooking, sewing clothes, making really good cocktails, gardening
Location: LA
Occupation: Data scientist
Living Situation: alone in a guest house
Relationship Status: single
Preferred News Sources: mosheh and red pilled ig accounts
Preferred TV Shows: White Lotus, og RHONY (i prefer podcasts like Adam Carolla. My newest obsession is the telepathy tapes)
Hobbies: barre classes, trying to understand how the world really works